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Buscan al autor de cinco apuñalamientos en Lleida [noticia]
Today in gym class we were doing major climbing and halfway up this girl freezes and goes “I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T DO IT”
so some dude yells “MY AUNT SAID DAT AT HER WEDDIN’ BUT SHE MARRIED DAT FINE-ASS DOCTOR AND NOW SHE RICH AS HELL”
the girl did it. truly inspiring.
I should add that it was a shrimpy 5’1 Indian boy nobody had ever heard talk before who was apparently from the deep south.
I wish dates didn’t have such strong romantic attachment to them.
Like, I wish I could go up to a friend of mine and be like, “Hey I want to take you to a nice restaurant. Let’s get dressed up fancy and go.”
We’d go have a fancyass dinner, but there’d be no romantic involvement.
I wish platonic dates were a common thing.
I would take each and every one of you on platonic dates.
????? It’ S cALLED??? SPENDING TIME??? WITH A FRIEND??
So… I was giving some jelly to my cat
My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.
I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…
they are evolving
dont EVER call ur date honey in front of bees, they do NOT understand the concept of nicknames and will viciously attack your girlfriend in hope of getting back what was taken from them
girl: fuck me daddy
me: don’t call me daddy…call me dad
girl: ok…dad…are you gonna make me cum today?
me: ask your mother
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